1) The Amazing Sex Bet

Gambling and Sex are two terrible vices that mankind seemingly has quite a bit of interest in. Gambling is thrilling and carries with it the chance to make a large amount of money. Sex is sex, which is pretty sweet on its own. So why not combine the two? Sergey Tuganov thought he would have a go at living the impossible dream. Sadly, his inclusion in this article means it didn’t end well, so please don’t look up to this man as a source of inspiration.

Tuganov presented two women with a simple scenario: he could have continuous sex with them for twelve hours. If he could then he would win $4,300. If he couldn’t, then he would forever be remembered as a failure who got to sextify two women for several hours. Either way, win win. The women agreed, and the sex was had.

Before I continue with the conclusion, I’d just like to ask a simple question: what sort of person can have sex continuously for twelve hours? Oh sure, people talk about it as a joke or fantasy, but have you actually thought about what sex for twelve hours straight would feel like? I’m predicting that the sexy good times come to an end right about the time unpleasant things start to chafe.

Anyway, in order to ensure his victory of these two women and whatever force created him, Tuganov decided to down an entire bottle of Viagra, one pill of which is enough to ensure an erection for four hours. I’m guessing that Tuganov was terrible with numbers. To his credit, he managed to win the bet. To his discredit, his boner pills iced him only minutes later. I can only hope they were able to close the casket.

2) The Stupid Window Gag

Garry Hoy was a lawyer based in Toronto. I want to make sure you understand that the man was a lawyer. Nothing else. He lawyered, bring in all sorts of laws and serving out justice like Jolly Ranchers. I can’t express how important this is to the story, so re-read that opening sentence a few times until you truly get the point. Okay? You got it? Awesome.

Garry Hoy is no longer among the living, but that’s not related to his ability to lawyer. You see, Hoy liked to impress people with a little trick. While entertaining business partners (like visiting lawyers or the Batman) he would claim a large pane of glass in his office was unbreakable. In order to prove this minute point he would throw his body against the glass. He performed the trick often and usually bounced off the glass. Usually. Yeah, you can pretty much tell where this is going.

While entertaining some partners in July of 1993, Hoy pulled the amazing glass stunt on the 24th floor of his building. As usual, he bounced off unharmed. Tired of the same old shtich and feeling a need to update his set list, Hoy leaped at the window a second time. Physics, having had more than enough of this man’s shit, decided to turn the tables. The window popped out of its frame and Hoy went for a long fall into the street below. Hoy’s law firm closed three years later, citing his death as one of the deciding factors.

3) The “I’m Going to Eat Poison and Be Okay” Bit

Kabuki actor Bando Mitsugoro VIII was a legend in his time, revered by Japan for his amazing performances and dedication to his craft. At one point he was even named a national treasure, which is a pretty big deal when you consider he beat out both Godzilla and Mothra for the title.

It’s safe to assume that being named the treasure of an entire nation will inflate someone’s ego. Somewhere along the line Mitsugoro confused “kabuki actor” with “unkillable bad-ass.” While dining out with some friends at a Kyoto restaurant he ordered four fugu fish livers, claiming he could survive the meal.

It’s important to note that Mitsugoro had to make said claim because the fugu fish is incredibly toxic, especially its organs. Ordering fugu livers is usual met with lengthy explainations as to why that meal is a terrible idea. But if you claim that you’re some sort of super-human than people apparently take your words at face value and watch you eat as many poison livers as you desire. It’s just polite, really.

Mitsugoro got the livers he so desired and ate all four, which must be some sort of feat. He also got to experience first-hand the wonders of paralysis soon after as the poison took hold, leaving him awake and alive for all of seven hours. His friends probably felt a bit cheated by the whole affair. Meanwhile, the chef that fed Japan’s national treasure crazy poison fish livers claimed innocence because he couldn’t refuse a request by such a prominent figure.

Image Sources: 1 | 2 | 3

There’s something about owning a pet that makes people think they can get away with doing absolutely anything to said pets. There’s some pet items that clearly appeal only to those suffering form some sort of mental defect. Take, for example, Puppy Tweets:

With Puppy Tweets every bark your dog makes becomes a post on Twitter. Ignoring that this is a pretty terrible idea on its own, a closer inspection reveals that no, really, this is a terrible thing for anyone to own. In order for this product to work your dog needs to have a Twitter page. That’s easy enough. But if no one is following it and reading all of your dog’s deeply intimate thoughts on current events, you’ve effectively wasted $30 on a joke that no one will ever read.

Others aren’t satisfied with simply thrusting their dog out into cyberspace for the world to see. For these people, there are mustaches.

And really, what God fearing man or woman wouldn’t want to tamper with His great design by forcing a mustache down its throat? Dogs are noted for their distinct lack of mustaches in the animal kingdom, but now you’re critter can join in on the fun while potentially choking on a large rubber ball. But hey, who needs to breathe when you have a wacky ‘stache?

Who would buy such things? Someone over Uproxx.com has made their bold predictions in their 10 Pet Products for That Are A Sign of Mental Illness.

Since its inception, Wikipedia has become the online resource for calling people out on their bullshit. For those of use who constantly find ourselves doubting the words of others, Wikipedia provides us with a base knowledge on just about anything assuming the articles you’re reading haven’t been vandalized by some dastardly teenagers.

To better organize its endless articles, Wikipedia has a series of articles that comprise other articles meeting certain themes. For the most part these lists are pretty mundane: list of cats, list of fictional cats list of dogs that look like cats, so on and so forth. But among these mounds of mundane information are some seriously strange lists, such as…

1. List of Chess-Related Deaths

I’m not really sure where the gentleman’s game of chess ranks between chain-smoking and trying to simultaneously juggle and unicycle, but I never would have thought that chess was actively taking lives. But its apparently happened so many times that someone on Wikipedia decided that the game’s hit-list needed to be forever documented.

From Wikipedia:

As with most games that have a long history, chess has been associated with a number of anecdotes, and some relate to games that have resulted in the murder of one of the players involved. The reliability of many of these anecdotes is suspect, but some appear to be based in fact.

Well I suppose that’s a little more logical. It’s not the game itself so much as it’s those nerdy types playing. That’s reassuring. Wikipedia wants you to know that some of these stories are “suspect,” but don’t let that stop you from bringing those creepers in the A.V. club to justice.

An Example On the List:

The wheat and chessboard problem is some crazy mathematical problem with an awesome back story: a king commissions the creation of a strategy game, to which an inventor responds by making the game of chess. The king, pleased by this effort, allows the the inventor to name his price. Not content with actually being rewarded, he  tells the king that he wants a single grain of wheat for the first square on the board, two for the second, four on the third, and doubling it for each subsequent square.

Chess players out there know that a chess board has sixty-four squares, amounting to an absurd amount of wheat very quickly. After trying to count the wheat for a week, the king decides to counter this attempted act of dickery by telling the inventor that he can take his reward if he himself counts it out to ensure he isn’t being double crossed.

See? Even when this game is working properly people are still miserable.

2. List of Superheroes and Super-Villains Without Super Powers

This collection was made because someone somewhere had to write a really specific essay. Either that or would be thugs need a quick cross-reference of which heroes they can take in a fight and which villains aren’t going to send them to the X Dimension.

From Wikipedia:

What follows is a list of superheroes and super villains who do not possess super powers, and the skills they have to make up for them.

So rather than a list of less than super beings we’re instead treated to a collective of characters who are still capable of beating your ass without the aide of awesome powers (Batman, Batgirl, Nightwing and just about everyone else who set foot in Gotham City). Seriously, that’s pretty typical. Way to go all mainstream on me, Wikipedia. What happened to you, man? You used to be cool.

An Example From the List:

A quick scroll to the bottom reveals a small section called “Other Heroes” championed by none other than Tintin. Yes, this Tintin:

The minute we put the likes of The Riddler and Tintin on the same list of heroes and villians the meaning of both words is completely lost. Really? Tintin’s a hero? I’ll admit, he’s a nice guy and all, but what did he do to get there? Iron Man gets himself into the mix and fights evil with the awesome power of lasers. Tintin goes on sexy and exotic adventures. One of those things is not like the other. If Tintin’s a hero then Garfield’s  hero, but Garfield isn’t listed on Wikipedia’s list of Other Heroes, so he must not be a hero. Pending a quick edit Tintin’s resume, we’ve got nothing to see here. Moving on.

3. List of Methods of Torture

If I’ve learned anything from the fine folks at 4Chan it’s that some people with Internet access are less than reputable. It’s really no different than real life when you think about it. Every group of people has its share of bad eggs. Some people are bullies and others spend their time trying to trick children on Pokemon fan forums into clicking on 2Girls1Cup. Sun rise, sun set.

My point is this: some people shouldn’t have a detailed collection of torture methods. And while it’s noble that Wikipedi is trying to write an extensive encyclopedia on everything possible, seriously, what the hell.

From Wikipedia:

Note that the line between “torture method” and “torture device” is often blurred, particularly when a specifically-named implement is but one component of a method. Also, many devices that can be used for torture have mainstream uses, completely unrelated to torture.

Essentially Wikipedia wants you to know that anything can be a torture device with just a little imagination. That little piece of information actually makes the whole article itself unnecessary. Still, Wikipedia stands and delivers with a lengthy list of ways to totally mess up your fellow man.

Example From the List:

The Tucker Telephone is what happens when terrible people get their hands on otherwise innocent appliances. An old crank phone is attached to two cell batteries. Then, two wires are run from the device to some poor soul, with one wire wrapped around the toe and another attached to the genitals. Cranking the phone would administer an electric shock, but these people weren’t without a sense of humor: a series of cranks was referred to as a long-distance call. Think about that the next time you call your brother in Utah.

The most startling thing about the Tucker Telephone is that it was developed in the 1960s. At that point we’d already been through two World Wars and thus had access to bullets, knives, bayonets, grenades, gas, atomic energy and flamethrowers. Despite this, some incredibly twisted individual is only satisfied if he’s causing people permanent damage with by strapping a telephone to their nuts. Suddenly I realize that humanity as a species has come along way.

Image Sources:
1 | 2 | 3

Written By Ben Dennison, copyrighted © WorldOddities.com

The wonderful world of toys isn’t without its highway men. Less than noble people have been plagirisng our childhoods for years just to make a quick buck. But sometimes this lack of effort and respect for copyright leads to some pretty awesome results. Take, for example…

1. Robert Cop

Patrolling the mean streets of Future Detroit, Robert Cop brings criminals to justice with the long, metal arm of the law. Also, his name is Robert.

While it appears that nothing has been done to the figure itself, the true craftsmanship lies in the logo at the bottom. The altercations to make “robo” into “Robert” are so seamless in their execution that Leonardo da Vinci himself returned from the grave just so he can vomit himself back to death in shame. What’s more, the fact that they left the “3″ at the end would imply that somewhere there’s a Robert Cop 1 or that the folks in packaging were to lazy to find the Robo Cop 1 logo.

2. Silverbat

What would Batman be like if he were bown a poor farmhand? Silverbat presents this grim scenario.

Batman needs a horse like Robin needs shorter shorts. From my recollection, the man owns at least one car, one jet and one boat, thus covering every major form of transportation we would ever need. Also, those vehicles are armed up the proverbial ass with gadgets and weapons, from grappling hooks to laser grappling horse. To better illustrate my point, here’s a comparison of what the standard Batmobile can do compared to your average Shetland.

BATMOBILE

- Run over gangsters

- Hit bitchin’ jumps

- Boost to absurdly dangerous speeds prime for running over gangsters

- Shoot to maim

- Ram through buildings

- Cut off ambulences

HORSE

- Poop

- Eat Oats

It’s a downgrade to say the least, but hey, whatever makes the Dark Knight happy, I suppose.

3. Some Kind of Hulk

Sadly, there’s no packaging to go with this number, so the actual name is a mystery to me. For the sake of consistency let’s call him The Incredible Hank.

I think what the designer was going for with Hank here was “What if Hulk walked into a scrapbooking store and it exploded?” The resulting glitter forever scars his skin, making him more of a monster than before. He stalks the Earth, forever separated from the rest of humanity but at least twice as fabulous as the average man. At long last, he has something to go with those purple pants.

4. Specialman

If I’ve learned anything from Robert Cop, it’s that you can sometimes get away with simply renaming a figure without having to change the figure itself. But here’s an instance where such a name change is a bit more deceptive than intended.

At first glance, there’s nothing particularly special about Specialman. No guns, shiny pants or horses. An criminal approached by a man calling himself Specialman would probably laugh themselves into a coma, come out of the coma years later and gun him down. But upon closer inspection, this “Special Man” is just a clever disguise for Superman. Suddenly the laughter stops as he breaks your neck at super-speed.

Written By Ben Dennison, copyrighted © WorldOddities.com

It’s easy to look back on things from days gone by and call them weird, but that isn’t always fair. Social norms are always changing, for example, so maybe an old woman shouting into a pair of slacks isn’t a sign of mental deficiency but rather a tradition that society has since deemed “really kind of weird.”

Food is a similar issue. Technology has improved so much over the decades that people no longer have to settle for eating gruel. What we consider strange was revolutionary at the time, but I can’t help but think that some of these are the result of someone in R&D losing a bet.

Has eating lard ever been associated with anything other than obesity? Why does eating something that ultimately amounts to fat create such happiness in these people? Where did that woman’s arms go? Only the Lard Information Council knows, and they’re too busy spreading their mistruths about happiness to reveal the answers we seek.

Ah yes, mayonnaise cake, the noble idea brought to you by Mrs. Filbert. I don’t know who she is or why she hasn’t dethroned Betty Crocker as the Highlander of foodstuffs, but I can tell you right now that any recipe for cake that doesn’t call for mayonaisse is made by heathens and people who appreciate taste a little more than Mrs. Filbert.

I don’t know how one goes about squeezing a picnic, but I’m pretty sure I heard about it that one time I wandered too close to the adult movie section at my local Blockbuster. It’s mind-boggling that squeeze cheese still exists in the modern day. I propose that we use this ad as a warning to future generations.

You can read all about awful vintage food at Guyism.

1. Ball Lightning

Thunderstorms are pretty scary when you’re a child, but as you grow up and realize that thunder is harmless and lightning strikes aren’t all that common, you laugh at the notion of a “scary thunderstorm.” That’s why God sent ball lightning: to educate your ignorant ass.

Ball lightning is an electrical phenomenon that occurs in the atmosphere, often during thunderstorms. Or at least, that’s what science currently thinks. The truth is that we don’t actually know what ball lightning is or if it even exists. That’s because the only evidence we have of it ever happening is public accounts and the occasional photograph which, as we all know from the great Big Foot debate, isn’t enough evidence to make something real.

Ball lightning descriptions vary. It’s usually a shape of some variety that may or may not move, is some sort of color, maybe, and might make a sound. Yeah, that’s not terribly helpful.

One of the most popular recorded instances of ball lightning is in in 1638. An English church believed to have incurred the wrath of God (or visited by Satan, depending on who you view as the least likely to smite with awesome fireballs) was invaded by a fire ball, filling the church with smoke. During the panic, the ball split into two, with one smashing through a window and another dispersing somewhere in the church. The event only killed four people. Clearly this was only God’s warning shot.

Since then there have been over 100,000 reported cases, though we’re still not entirely sure how or why the event occurs. Several recreations of ball lightning have happened in Godless laboratories the world over, including a few attempts to weaponize the phenomenon. Pray they never do, because it could very well lead to the end of modern warfare as we know it. Do you want to live in a world where every soldier is capable of doing this?

2. Blood Rain

If ball lightning had a pants-shittingly terrifying cousin, it would be blood rain. Back in the olden days, blood rain was considered a bad omen, and rightfully so, because the sky was fucking bleeding. Take a group of people who don’t understand the befits of good hygiene and make the sky bleed on top of them. Do you think they’re going to handle that well?

Much like its church smiting cousin, blood rain is a time honored mind screw, appearing as far back as the Illiad, during which the god Zeus caused the sky to bleed to warn of a tremendous military loss. Do you understand that? Blood rain was Zeus’s go-to warning. In a situation where the ringing of the bell, a well-placed lightning strike or even a charming talking animal could have sufficed, a god makes a rain of blood and expects mortal men to interpret that as “you’re going to get your asses kicked.”

Thankfully, the age of science has taught us better than to trust Zeus. Blood rain is a mixture of your standard bloodless rain with dust dissolved in the water, creating the color. Sometimes the rain is colored differently, leading to a whimsical green rain or a black rain of terror. Regardless, it’s as harmless as normal rain.

Other theories persist, however, proving that even the most simple of answers are rarely enough to satisfy us. In the ancient times of 2001, blood rain sporadically fell on the Indian state of Kerala for a period of about two months. Despite the wide acceptance of the dust theory, two physicists in the area believed the rain to be related to extraterrestrials, citing the explosion of an asteroid immediately before the rainfall began. Most people choose to ignore this theory because, you know, what the hell, but the dynamic duo continue to publish research papers every few years asserting that they are correct without actually providing any solid evidence. I’m starting to wonder if they’re new to this whole “science” thing.

3. Raining Animals

So, you’ve decided to ignore the wisdom of the mighty Zeus and disregard the whole “rain of blood” thing. How does a God send his message in a way that is both direct and flashy? By making it rain animals. At this point it’s safe to assume that Greek gods have poor communication skills.

Before you get all academic on me, no, Zeus didn’t make it rain animals, but it is a real occurrence and it’s totally rad. Animals, most commonly fish or frogs, fall from the sky. It’s not directly related to rainy weather, as animal rain has been reported during fair days as well. Also, there’s no way to predict it, but if we knew the nature of the sky spitting out thousands of frogs we probably wouldn’t be so mystified by it.

As usual, theories abound about the origins of rain. The common belief is that high winds like tornadoes lift the animals into the air and toss them long distances. However, wind isn’t always present, nor are the areas close to bodies of water (a necessary factor for the tornado theory to be true in the case of fish). Still, it’s the closest thing we have to making sense, so we generally go with it.

Some of the more interesting cases of raining animals include cow bits in California, worms in Louisiana and jellyfish in Bath, England.

Written By Ben Dennison, copyrighted © WorldOddities.com

If I’ve learned anything from 80s teen comedy movies, its that you can’t cure a trouble maker. Any attempts to do so would only result in a stronger and wiser class clown whose powers can only be imagined and envied by the straitlaced. In the world of trouble makers, this kid has ascended to the status of Zeus:

“Observed the student receiving Oral Sex from another student. I asked both students to report to the office. Chris went to class rather than the offive. Chris was sitting in a chair with his pants down to his thighs while the female was on her knees in front of him.”

I remember I made an off-color joke in high school some six or seven years ago and I still feel a sense of shame and regret whenever I think about it. I can’t even begin to think about what sort of haunting I would be punished by had I been caught pants down in the middle of a blowie.

The Huffington Post has collected twelve awesome detention slips. If you’re feeling nostalgic (or inspired), give it a looksie.

Cake. Everyone loves it, and anyone who tells you they don’t is a liar. Cake is God’s gift to man, a promise to his children that yes, life really is good. Even if you don’t eat cake (you monster) you can still appreciate the wonders of a well crafted cake. Or a strange cake. Whatever man, that’s just your scene.

And if strange cakes are indeed your scene, have I got the sweet treats for you. First up on the menu is the blog Weird Cakes, which provides you with exactly what you’d expect:

Okay, maybe not exactly what you’re thinking, but still, you get the point. Strange and offbeat cakes are all featured in their full frosted glory.

As strange as they may be, you have to appreciate someone who can take batter and make it look like what would appear to be a serial killer’s tabletop. Yikes.

Weird cakes can be found easily enough at Weird Cakes.

Moving down the totem pole a bit, people make mistakes. But when you make a mistake in the cake making process, it’s pretty noticable:

Cake Wrecks is home to some of the worst crimes committed in the culinary world. Typos, while embarrassing, aren’t necessarily a deal breaker.But with some of these other botch jobs you honestly hope that someone somewhere got a refund:

Check out Cake Wrecks for more absurdities from your local baker.